


You Said You’d Grow Old With Me

by emmyspaghetti



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Five Stages of Grief, Five is already gone, No Incest, Reginald Hargreeves' A+ Parenting, Vanya Hargreeves Needs A Hug, Vanya Hargreeves-centric
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-25
Updated: 2020-08-04
Packaged: 2021-03-04 02:40:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,405
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24906208
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/emmyspaghetti/pseuds/emmyspaghetti
Summary: Vanya Hargreeves misses her brother.
Relationships: Allison Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Ben Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Diego Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Grace Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Klaus Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Luther Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves, Number Five | The Boy & Vanya Hargreeves, Reginald Hargreeves & Vanya Hargreeves
Comments: 2
Kudos: 112





	1. Denial

“ _There’s a black hole, a vacuum, in deep outer space_

_ That swallows all matter without any trace,  _

_ Where life is suspended in physics and time  _

_Every word you said hangs like an unfinished rhyme_.” 

\- Brian Lowdermilk & Kait Kerrigan 

Vanya Hargreeves tentatively wrapped her fingers around the door knob of Number Five’s room, which was of course off limits to venture into after his disappearance. 

Her remaining siblings were training with their father, each facing the cruel truth that without their arrogant and ill tempered brother to face the wrath of Sir Reginald Hargreeves, the ‘family’ dynamic had changed. 

It wasn’t like anyone would notice if she sat in his room and read for a few minutes, not when she practically existed in invisibility her entire life, so there was no threat of getting in trouble for seeking refuge in one of the only places she feels safe. 

The door creaked, as it always did, though bits and pieces of Luther and Diego’s squabble kept their father’s occupation fixated on them, and not his forgotten daughter going into the room of his greatest disappointment. 

Vanya needed to go in, to be in a place where she couldn’t be found to sort out all of her opinions without disturbance. 

She could not find it in her tiny frame to care if her father found out about this escapade or not, as the worst that could come out of being caught was a purple bruise that would disappear within a few days. 

The same kind that Number Five used to sport whenever he talked back or found loopholes around their father’s rules. 

He assured his sister after each occurrence that it didn’t hurt, and she naively believed him, left to exist blissfully unaware of the steps her brother took to ensure that she could be included sometimes. 

Vanya quickly stepped inside, closing the door behind her, sighing at how his room was perfectly preserved as if he had never left. 

The bed was unmade, opened textbooks and notebooks littered the floor, and a dirty plate still lingered on his bedside table, despite not having been eaten off in months. 

Vanya had no intention of disturbing anything in her brother’s room, so she knelt down on the floor as quietly as she could, and waited. 

“I know Klaus is the only one of us that could reach out to you if you were-” The thirteen year old cut herself off, not allowing herself to think of the possibility that her brother, the only person that made her believe that she too could change the world’s disappearance was sealed with such permanence. 

“I just figured I would try.” 

There was no response, not that she had anticipated one anyways. 

Her gaze shifted to his notebooks, his scribbled corner to corner with equations and notes all regarding the unhealthy obsession that Number Five harbored right up until his disappearance; time travel. 

“I’ll start leaving the light on in here at night if I can-” she smoothed her skirt down and shifted into a more comfortable position on the floor. 

Vanya will never understand how her brother could lay on his stomach, scratching in his tiny handprint, mumbling probabilities to himself for hours on end, as the ground seemed very unwelcoming to her. 

It seemed like no one gave her the memo that Number Five thrived in discomfort. 

“You’d have a much easier time sneaking in and out of here because of your jumps.” 

She swallowed the lump in her throat, remembering how he always instantly appeared in her room while she was playing her violin. 

“It’s much harder being ordinary without you here.” Vanya admitted quietly, tapping her fingers against the floor in a rhythmic pattern. 

Rain began pattering against the window, and the young girl couldn’t help but think of how the gray and soggy days always seemed to be Number Five’s favorites.   
  
“I’m sorry.” She said quietly for probably the thousandth time in her life, watching as the raindrops dripped down the window pane. 

“I know you hate when I call myself ordinary, but that’s what I am.” 

Her eyes danced around the room before landing on the calendar, which she did not have the heart to correct. 

“It’s April first, we would have all gone to Griddy’s if you were here.” 

Vanya closed her eyes, remembering how the only reason that she was ever included was that Number Five would refuse to sneak anyone out if the rest of his siblings didn’t invite her. 

“We might still go.” She knew that they wouldn’t. 

Thunder crackled, accompanied with a flash of lightning that lit up the entire room and seemingly cancelled any hope of preserving the tradition her brother had started to stick it to their old man. 

“I hope you know I’m not upset with you for leaving, Five.” Again, there was no answer, but for closure Vanya closed her eyes and imagined him nodding his head. 

“If I _could_ leave, I would... It’s just been so long since you left, we all miss you.” 

He should be back by now, he wouldn’t abandon ~~her~~ them like this. 

“I know you’ll be back, so I’ll keep leaving the lights on-” Vanya slowly made her way to her feet, smoothing out the wrinkles in her uniform. 

“We both know you don’t like the dark, even if you won’t admit it.” 

She smiled to herself, realizing that one day she’d be back in this room, sitting on the ground while he tells her stories of what it’s like outside of the academy, what it’s like living instead of merely existing. 

“It can’t be that exciting, I’m sure you’ll come home soon and things will go back to normal.” The young girl assured herself, despite knowing that her father had commissioned an artist to paint a mural of Number Five to remind those who remained of the dangers disobeying orders brought. 

He painted the rabble rouser as a the result of selfishly indulging in the art of wasting your potential over an argument. 

This wasn’t the Number Five Vanya knows, however. 

The Number Five she knows will come back and save their siblings from their dreary existence, whisking them away from the Academy to somewhere safe. 

“It’s only a matter of time.” 


	2. Anger

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Vanya forgets her meds and Luther screws the pooch

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This took a little longer than anticipated but I hope it suffices :)

_ “And you say what you need to say _

_ And you play who you need to play  _

_ And if somebody’s in your way, crush them and leave them behind  _

_ Well I guess if I’m not of use  _

_ Go ahead, you can cut me loose _

_ Go ahead now, I won’t mind.”  _

_ \-  _ Benj Pasek & Justin Paul 

Although it was inevitable for the young Vanya Hargreeves to move into the next stage of grieving her brother, it was Luther Hargreeves that initiated the transition. Then again, he can’t be blamed for Vanya forgetting to take her medication or their father being an asshole. 

It seemed as existing without the presence of Number Five seemed to finally begin its descent into normality, not that the cadets knew anything about life being normal, anyways. 

Everyone handled the loss of their brother differently, save for Luther and Allison of course, who seemed to share the same opinions on everything. 

They had the least closest relationships with Number Five, so his presence or lack thereof unsurprisingly had the least amount of effect on them. The pair distanced themselves from their other siblings and could be frequently spotted in Allison’s room.

Once Vanya caught her sister mumbling rumors to herself in front of the portrait their father mounted above the fireplace of their missing brother, though nothing ever came out of it, not even Allison’s rumors could bring Number Five home. 

Diego’s mood varied from day to day, though his attachment and clinginess to their mother proved to be a sufficient distraction. Come hell or high water, he’d be attached to her hip, much to the disapproval of their father. 

Klaus, the resident seance of the family had been tasked with the heaviest burden of all, which was to summon their brother’s spirit if he was somewhere beyond. 

His inability to conjure any proof of Number Five’s death brought their father much aggravation, which Klaus seemed to be the target of on most weekdays and bank holidays. 

Ben had taken his role as the shoulder Klaus cried on after being called a disgrace, all while mourning the loss of the only other book lover in his house. 

Vanya views him as a saint, as that was what Number Five had called him once. 

Life carried on, and the little cadets went back to their dreary existence, only this time, without their saving grace. 

No one was there to listen to her violin pieces, or to take the blame for his siblings. 

Sir Reginald Hargreeves lined all of his remaining wards up in a line and surprisingly included Vanya, who usually stood on the side lines for these types of things.

She was ecstatic, completely unaware of what this family meeting entailed. 

Perhaps he was about to announce that Number Five had returned, that things would return to the way that they were. 

“Children.” His commanding tone brought Vanya out of her daydreams and back into reality. 

Sir Reginald Hargreeves walked down the line holding a dirty plate in his hand, coated with a tiny trace of peanut butter. 

“This was on the kitchen floor this morning alongside a peanut butter and marshmallow sandwich.” 

Vanya felt her heart sink into her stomach as he stopped in front of Ben, the resident peacemaker in the family who had been the second closest to Number Five. 

The boy averted his eyesight away from his father’s glare, keeping his focus on the plate. 

“Do you know the meaning of this, Number Six?” The older man had singled out this particular cadet as he was known for being truthful. 

Ben cleared his throat before answering in the politest tone he could summon. 

“Those are Five’s favorite.” Everyone knew this, and Vanya figures that their father had a common knowledge of this as well. 

Sir Reginald Hargreeves shook his head. “Negative, Number Six. Those were Number Five’s favorite. He is deceased.” 

Klaus balled his hands into fists. “No he isn’t, I can’t see him so he’s alive!” 

The older man snapped his attention onto Klaus, craning out his neck and examining from head to toe. 

“That’s enough, Number Four.” 

Klaus scoffed, having grown tired of hearing this phrase once again. 

“Stop saying that!” Klaus cried out, surprising nearly everyone. 

“Five isn’t dead! You’ve got a son that can see the dead, genius! He’s not gone, I would be able to see him!” 

Sir Reginald Hargreeves’ eyes widened before narrowing on his least favorite ward. 

“The depths you’ll go to embarrass yourself are astronomical, Number Four.” The older man retorted, adjusting his monocle. 

“But fret not, you’re still the greatest failure. Even dead, your brother is better than you will ever become.” 

The room grew unsettlingly silent. 

It couldn’t be seen by most, but Vanya noticed that Ben had taken Klaus’ hand in his to calm the seance down. 

“Vanya’s been leaving sandwiches out for Five!” 

Luther was the one that ruined the whole operation, and blew his sister’s cover. When asked about his intentions later, he’d protest that he was just trying to speed things along so no one else was hurt, though everyone already knew that he ratted Vanya out to maintain his role as the Academy’s resident golden boy. 

She couldn’t find her voice so she just looked at the carpet in front of her, hoping that the situation would blow over and she’d return her status as the invisible outcast. 

“Nice going, Luther.” Klaus mumbled, feeling a tad of sympathy for his sister, who hadn’t said a word throughout this entire ideal. 

Sir Reginald Hargreeves walked over to where the meek teenager was standing, and waiting until she looked up at him to begin speaking. 

“Number Five was an ungrateful little feign whose insatiableness brought about his untimely demise. He isn’t going to come back for you. He wanted to find a new family, a normal and functional family away from all of us.” The billionaire turned to his other children, who seemed to almost tremble under his cold and unforgiving glare. 

“Let this serve as a lesson, those who defy me and my wishes will end up like Number Five, dying alone with only yourselves to blame.” 

Ben tightened his grasp on Klaus’ hand. As long as he was still alive he wouldn’t let that fate fall upon any of his siblings. Not even Vanya, who he was trained to isolate. 

“He’s not coming back, you need to move on.” Their father started once more, glancing back at his daughter. 

“And even if he could come back, why would he? You’re nothing special, Number Seven.” 

Vanya slipped out of the room, running off to her safe haven, which of course no one else knew about. It had been left alone since the first of April. 

Once protected behind the door which she shut behind her, she began tearing the room apart in rage. She couldn’t remember the last time she felt this angry, as she tore out Five’s precious equations from his notebooks and crumpled the pieces of paper. 

“You promised you’d take us with you!” The young girl cried, as she did this. The beating of her heart was all she could hear as she tore out pages from his several textbooks that had been collecting dust since the disappearance of Number Five. 

Timid and shy little Vanya knocked everything off of her brother’s desk, letter her emotions get the best of her. 

“I hope this was worth it, because I’ll never forgive you!” 

A window pane cracked, though Vanya didn’t notice, hearing nothing but the beating of her heart in her ears. 

“You didn’t even say goodbye!” 

That night Vanya Hargreeves sobbed herself to sleep and collapsed in on herself like a dying star. Allison’s rumor was her sister’s saving grace, the aftermath of it being that Vanya stopped making the sandwiches and leaving the lights on for their brother who would have been back by now if he could come home. 

Vanya’s emotions were suppressed when her prescription was altered to control her more meticulously, though there was still a small resentment for her brother that stayed deep within her for the next few years to come. 

**Author's Note:**

> I hoped you enjoyed reading. If you did feel free to leave a comment or kudos- or don’t that’s alright too. This is my first work for TUA, so if this does well I might sick around and write a few more things, I haven’t decided yet. With all of that being said, I hope you have a wonderful day/night/ whenever you’re reading this <3 
> 
> also this isn’t incest :)


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